Updated: Dec 8, 2020
The power of forgiveness is the ingredient to peace, so why is it so hard to forgive? Not just others but ourselves.
As hard as it may be, we must develop and maintain the capacity to forgive. I believe for some the inability to forgive comes from a pain that runs deep, and the strength that it takes to heal that pain has to come from an even deeper place. For me, that means having to be vulnerable, and I’ve come to learn that being vulnerable in society today is rare. It's normal to fear vulnerability; it’s not okay for that fear to take front seat. That fear can’t be the reason why we refuse to take notice to the vulnerability of ourselves and others. In doing so, we shut down to escape or we project and unlikely never come close to reaching our potential in life.
Pain is difficult, it doesn't matter the reason or the cause, and having an emotional response to pain is normal, especially when directly affected. We’ve all been hurt, but we’ve also all caused hurt which I think we sometimes forget. Instead of checking ourselves we go all wall high, pride kicks in, the ego defends, and we lose momentum in the good. We fail the process in finding solutions, more problems surface and we ignore the true art of letting go. It's a vicious cycle, a toxic cycle and then one day you’ll realize, was it even worth it? By not letting go one can become bitter, resentful and lose focus on what is truly meant for them.
Forgive those that have hurt you, let go of the disappointments and love in faith.
Why do we hold on to things so deep that we allow it to control our lives? It controls our actions, stumps our growth, and we end up missing out on something that could be amazing. We allow it to become our insecurities only believing in the what if’s, the I cant’s and the, I'd rather just give up. Forgiveness is a chance to start over, to create a new beginning and to let go of all that is holding you back. So many of us beat ourselves up when we make mistakes, but we forget how far we've come in our journey. For me personally I have learned there are things I can't change, and there are a lot of things I got wrong, but I will not carry them. In doing that I create a weight on the things that I have the potential of getting right. There are times when you must be done, not mad, not upset but just done. Learning to let it go is not easy but hanging on to the weight does not serve you. It is necessary to let go in order to move on and live a more fulfilling life.
To leg go of something, a situation or even someone you have to let go of the hate. It doesn't me that you don't care it's just the realization that the only person you really have control over is yourself. The biggest fear for some in forgiveness is change. By letting go, that change can be the very reason for something better. The best advice I can give is that incredible things happen when you decide to take control of what you do have power over instead obsessing over what you do not. It’s impossible to live a life without failure unless you live so cautiously that you might as well not live at all. Renew, release and let go of uncertainty! Embrace the willingness to be vulnerable, allow yourself to learn and grow in every failure and wrong decision, every letdown, mistake and heartache. You must know when to hold on and when to let go. Both are signs of strength and courage, but Faith trumps all. Faith is that deeper place. Let your heart soften, let go of the battle and do not cling to the darkness. There is beauty in the forgiveness of ourselves and others, and the light will find you when you realize your journey is not to despise others or ourselves but to cherish every moment with love at every stage in our journey.
"The beautiful journey of today can only begin when we learn to let go of yesterday and the greatest step towards a life of simplicity is learn to let go”.~ Steve Maraboli